Going Back to Work After Maternity Leave: Why It Feels So Big, and How to Prepare
If you have started counting the weeks left on your mat leave and felt your stomach drop, you are not alone.
Returning to work after maternity leave is one of the biggest transitions of early motherhood, and one of the least talked about. Most of us were given plenty of guidance on how to prepare for a baby. Very few were told how to prepare to leave that baby with someone else, walk back into a workplace that kept moving without us, and figure out who we are now.
In short: it is normal to feel grief, guilt, anxiety, relief, or all of them at once as maternity leave ends. These feelings make sense because you are going through a real identity transition, not only a schedule change. Preparing emotionally, communicating your needs to your workplace and building confidence in your childcare plan can make the return much easier. If you are in Ontario, our free virtual Returning to Work from Maternity Leave workshop on Monday, October 19 is a good place to start.
Free workshop: Returning to Work from Maternity Leave
When: Monday, October 19, 2026, 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. ET
Where: Virtual, on Zoom, open to moms across Ontario
Cost: Free
For: Moms with about 3 to 6 months or less left on mat leave
Facilitator: Alison Gregory, MSW student with the MARSHA Care team
Can't make it live? The session is recorded. Register to receive the recording link.
Why going back to work after mat leave feels so hard
On paper, going back to work is logistics: a start date, a daycare spot, a commute. In real life it touches almost every part of who you are. Here is some of what may be happening underneath.
You are grieving the end of a chapter
Even if leave was exhausting, lonely or harder than you expected, it was also a season you will never get back. The slow mornings, the naps on your chest, the private world you built with your baby. It is okay to grieve that, even if you are also ready to go back. Grief and readiness can sit side by side.
Mom guilt gets louder
Am I abandoning my baby? Will they be okay without me? Am I a bad mom for wanting adult conversation and a warm coffee? Mom guilt often spikes in the weeks before going back. It tends to treat any need of yours as proof that you are failing your child. It is not proof of anything. Wanting both your baby and your work is not selfish. It is human.
You might feel like a different person walking back in
You left as one version of yourself and are returning as another. Your priorities may have shifted. Your patience for things that do not matter may be gone. You may wonder whether you still care about the work, or worry that you have lost your edge. Many women describe feeling like a stranger in a place that used to feel like theirs.
The practical unknowns keep you up at night
Daycare drop-offs, pumping at work, sick days, who leaves early when the daycare calls, how much sleep you will get. When there are this many moving parts, your mind can treat each one as a threat. That is especially true if you have been living with postpartum anxiety.
You may not know what to ask for
Do you ask about flexible hours? A gradual return? A private place to pump? Many women stay quiet because they are afraid of looking less committed. Not knowing how to start these conversations can leave you carrying it all alone.
Signs the return to work is weighing on you
A wave of dread when you think about your start date
Trouble sleeping, even when your baby is sleeping
Crying more easily, or feeling flat and numb
Irritability or anger that feels bigger than the situation
Avoiding emails, daycare tours or conversations with your manager
Constant what-ifs about your baby's safety in childcare
Feeling like you are failing at both motherhood and work before you have even started
Some of this is a normal response to a big transition. If these feelings are intense, constant or getting in the way of daily life, that deserves real support, not just pushing through.
How to prepare for returning to work after maternity leave
Start earlier than feels necessary. The emotional transition often starts months before your first day back. Giving yourself three to six months to prepare, rather than three weeks, makes room to adjust gradually instead of all at once.
Let yourself grieve. Write down what you will miss about this season. Take the photos. Mark the last week of leave in a way that means something to you. Naming the loss helps you move through it instead of carrying it into your first week back.
Do practice runs with childcare. A few shorter days at daycare or with a caregiver before your official return lets your baby adjust and lets you see that they are okay. That kind of evidence calms worry far more than reassurance does.
Plan the conversation with your workplace. Before you go back, think about what would actually help: a gradual return, a flexible start time, a place and time to pump, how you will handle sick days. Going in with a few clear requests is easier than trying to work it out on the spot.
Make a plan for the first two weeks, not the whole year. Who does drop-off? What is for dinner? Who is the backup when the daycare calls? Lowering the bar for the first stretch is a strategy, not a failure.
Reclaim a small piece of yourself. Going back to work can be a chance to reconnect with parts of you that went quiet during leave: your skills, your humour, your ambition, your friendships. Notice what you are looking forward to, even if it feels small or complicated.
Don't do it alone. Talking with other moms going through the same thing is one of the most powerful ways to quiet guilt and feel less alone. That is exactly why we created this workshop.
Inside our free Returning to Work from Maternity Leave workshop
This free, 90-minute virtual workshop is for moms anywhere in Ontario with roughly three to six months or less left on maternity or parental leave. In one evening you will have space to process what this transition means for you and leave with practical tools for the weeks ahead.
Together we will explore:
Self-compassion through a real transition: making room for the grief, guilt and relief
Selecting and navigating childcare: building confidence in your plan and your caregivers
Planning the home environment: routines, shared load and lowering the bar for the first weeks
Planning for work: what to expect and how to talk with your workplace about what you need
All the feelings that come with it: naming them and moving through them together
The workshop is facilitated by Alison Gregory, an MSW student with the MARSHA Care team whose work focuses on women's life transitions, from new babies to careers that no longer fit. Alison brings warmth and practical, evidence-informed support for this season of motherhood.
You can join from home after bedtime, camera on or off, baby in arms if needed. If evenings are unpredictable, register anyway and we will send you the recording.
Register for the free workshop
Registration takes a minute on the workshop page, and your Zoom and recording links are emailed to you. Questions? Email hello@ambersperling.ca.
When to reach out for more support
A workshop is a wonderful starting point, but sometimes you need more. Consider individual support if:
Anxiety or low mood is making it hard to function day to day
You are having frightening intrusive thoughts about your baby
Guilt or shame feels constant and heavy
A difficult birth or early postpartum period still feels unfinished
You feel disconnected from yourself, your baby or your partner
Our team offers perinatal and women's mental health therapy in Barrie, Orillia and virtually across Ontario. You can meet our clinicians to find the right fit.
If you or your baby may be in immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency department. If you are thinking about suicide, call or text 988 anywhere in Canada, 24 hours a day.
Frequently asked questions about returning to work after maternity leave
Is it normal to feel sad about going back to work after maternity leave?
Yes. Many mothers feel sadness, grief or dread as maternity leave ends, even if they enjoy their work. The end of leave marks the close of a meaningful chapter, and it is normal to mourn it while also feeling ready to return.
How do I deal with mom guilt about going back to work?
Start by naming the guilt and remembering that it does not mean you are doing something wrong. Having your own needs, income and identity is good for you and your family. Talking with other mothers in the same transition, and with a perinatal therapist if guilt feels overwhelming, can help ease it.
When should I start preparing to return to work after mat leave?
Many moms find it helpful to start preparing emotionally and practically three to six months before their return date. That gives time to plan childcare, do trial runs, think through workplace conversations and process the transition gradually.
How can I feel more confident about putting my baby in daycare?
Gradual practice days, getting to know your caregivers, asking how they will update you, and seeing your baby settle over time all build confidence. Worry about daycare is very common and usually eases once you have real experience to go on.
Is the Returning to Work from Maternity Leave workshop free?
Yes. The workshop is free and runs on Zoom on Monday, October 19, 2026, from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. ET. Registration is required. If you can't attend live, registering gets you the recording link.
Who is the workshop for?
The workshop is for mothers in Ontario with about three to six months or less left on maternity leave who want support with the emotional and practical sides of returning to work.
Who leads the workshop?
The workshop is facilitated by Alison Gregory, an MSW student with MARSHA Care, a trauma-informed women's mental health practice with offices in Barrie and Orillia and virtual services across Ontario.
You have done so much already to grow, birth and care for your baby. You deserve support for this next step too. Save your free spot for October 19.
